Each project that I have released since 2018 has prefaced some ideology of existence. Voodoo Blu was written directly out of the confusion of my first heartbreak. It felt as if someone was tweaking this blue depressive cloud over me in the same way one would with a Voodoo Doll. Fundamentally laying out what Ashes to Amber represents; A reverse fire if you will. When something is broken down into ash and reforms back into what it initially started as a brilliant amber fire, this is what the music will always represent to me.
The next project Jade showed this both mad-happy world. I wasn’t fully healed yet, but I had a better scope of happiness and was able to sonically project this entire world where each song is built around a happy uplifting melody encompassed with confusion and sad lyricism. My friend Tj and I would crush out 17 hour sessions in a tiny little apartment. Some of my best college memories and honestly core memories in my whole life came from here. Something about riding my skateboard down the middle of Figueroa at 3am after a session and looking back at Downtown just felt … archetypal. It seemed during this time the only thing that mattered was finishing this project, but it didn’t feel like a task. We were just having fun. To this day Jade was the most seamless music has ever felt and is the only piece of work I would classify as “perfect”.
As time progressed I was a junior in College and I was finally coming to terms with my feelings. I released my 3rd project, Miss Future. I realized there was no purpose in staying in the past & having expectations toward the future. Just live in the present, and as the great joe dirt once said, “Life’s a garden, dig it”. Miss Future was a complete shift in sound. It was indie/alt with a surf/skate punk twist. This was during the heat of COVID and there was a strong hint of nihilist fuckery in all of the songs. I was pissed, the world was pissed, but like everyone was still having fun and this EP encapsulated that.
Then I got hit again. I raised my guard and allowed myself to feel, which was immediately ripped like a rug from under my feet. This began to preface my second full length LP Do Not Pick The Flowers. A nihilistic mindset came back and I told myself that I need not to focus too much on love and focus on myself. I ended up bringing that mantra to the forefront of my life, but guess what … nothing changed. This reopened pre existing wounds and really saturated my life with anxiety. I was really confused about whether or not I felt more than others. I saw those around me in the same predicaments able to move on with their lives where I was left in the doldrums. Do Not Pick the Flowers is beautifully chaotic. It doesn’t feel like an album. In my opinion it is a big bag of singles. A good bag though, not one of those mini cool ranch ones with a lot of air in the top. The whole project doesn’t flow which bothered me at first, but over time I realized it eloquently portrayed my life and mindset as one. Again beautifully simple, yet chaotic. It still bugs me a little bit though.
I’m obviously missing some singles here and there in my story, but they’re all just silly/meaningful little softcore tunes about some punk, punking around, a ski lift, friends passing away, girls and everything in between. It seemed like you were interested in what I did, but you don’t even skate. Like fuck man I’m bummed out a lot, but lifes pretty good sometimes.
Then I found her. Someone who had never made me feel the way I never thought I would again. I was feeling better than I ever had. Everything was great, but I was mortified; it gave me the eeriest feeling. I started self love practices and therapy through some oopsies that happened to help balance this feeling of doubt that had resurged from the past, but even then I couldn’t feel what was advertised from those options. I couldn’t just tell myself “hey I love you man”, it just didn’t work for me. It was a very dark and confusing part of my life that I’m still dealing with today. All I know is my best therapy is the ocean and music. So I surfed and wrote a project to show off what I was feeling. Evidently the EP was titled Heebie Jeebies. The project is really cool though. It was my 5th coming EP. I fully mixed, produced, and engineered everything. It’s grunge/alt and I was completely in love with the feeling it granted. It has some saxophone and one of the sexiest guitar licks I’ve ever written. I also found out my favorite song doesn’t even have bass. Cool stuff.
As time progressed, I kept learning about myself and others and how to operate independently from my anxiety… kind of. I have yet to come to terms with my brain and realized I might just be crazy… kind of. But out of this, My Little Maniac was born. It started as a single, but I was writing too many songs for it to exist on its lonesome. I started compiling these songs and realized there was a direct theme of mania between all of them. Starting in October of 2022 I would wake up, make a sandwich, and just sesh my life away. After three and a half months of reworking these demos a 14 track LP was born. The album was most influenced by this beat up red monster truck from 20 years ago that looks like a rabid dog. It sits on top of one of my JBL speakers I use to mix, and everytime I went into writing a song, I would just encompass the mood of this hotwheel and it filled my brain with so much creativity. It has beautifully haunting ballads of love, mixed with surf punk grunge and feels like mania. It feels so real because it isn’t the crispiest project. It has mistakes, it has weird key changes, the guitars aren’t tuned, but just like life, I hope you enjoy it.
Also eat at Del Taco the chicken snackers smack edit: They got rid of them :(
Favorite movie is .. well I’m not sure but I just watched the Blair Witch Project and it’s not that scary
Favorite song is “1983 (A Merman I Should Turn To Be) by Jimi Hendrix
Stratocaster > any other guitar Edit: I now own three telecasters soooo